you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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