Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
