new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
