You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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