It's Friday. Sex?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No subtext here. People are naked.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
