she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
