I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
