The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So vagazzling was a success
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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