I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do vagina's smell?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
