Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize