Pappa wants mamma naked
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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