Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
