if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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