Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
