so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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