Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
In America we eat man semen.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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