Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
