just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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