I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
