This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
