Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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