My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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