saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
