Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
