is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
