You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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