Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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