Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
