I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
