Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
