Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
