Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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