were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
