If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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