I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
