I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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