some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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