he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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