porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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