Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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