It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
