i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
