Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
