Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The power of my boobs compel you
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
