He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
