dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
