its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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