just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
