She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
