I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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