Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
