I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
